Being a godparent is an important job. But what exactly is involved in this special role? Is a godparent required to run an organised crime empire or take over guardianship of children in the event of their parent’s death? I am no expert, but drawing on my qualifications of being a godparent, having two excellent godparents myself, and choosing godparents for my six children, I’ve developed this position description for the role.
NAME OF POSITION
Godparent, Godmother, Godfather (hyphenation is also acceptable)
EMPLOYMENT TYPE
On-call. Flexible contact hours
LOCATION
Initially: In the church for the baptism
Subsequently: Around when it counts.
GENERAL INFORMATION ABOUT THE ROLE
There is a lot involved in the role of godparent, though you’ll find the role is not onerous. At the baptism, of course, you will dress up and hold the candle and say ‘I do’ half a dozen times. But this is only the beginning of the journey.
A godparent is a sponsor who supports the faith development of the child. Contrary to popular belief, a godparent is not the same as a guardian, who would adopt the child if their parents die. Instead, the godmother or godfather is a sort of spiritual role model, a person the child can turn to for counselling and support.
ORGANISATIONAL RELATIONSHIPS
Parents
As well as your relationship with your godchild, another important relationship will be with your godchild’s parents. Make sure you check in with them regularly about your godchild’s spiritual health. A godparent is also specially placed to indulge proud parents. I try not to boast too much about my children, even though they are truly exceptional. Sometimes, though, I’ll give their godparents a gushing earful. They just have to take it. It’s in the job description
A godparent can lobby for the needs of one child, while parents need to keep the needs of the family in balance. My daughter Annie’s godmother is also her self-appointed advocate, ensuring my oft-overlooked middle child is taken care of. They share a special bond.
The other godparent
It can be a good idea to co-ordinate with the other godparent, if that person isn’t your spouse, to discuss co-godparenting. Exchange details at the ceremony and keep in touch.
SELECTION CRITERIA
At least one of a child’s godparents needs to be a fully confirmed Catholic. Some guides suggest godparents should be 16 or older, but my godson became a godparent himself when he was 14, making me a proud god-grandmother (or should that be grand-godmother?)
Personally, I prefer not to choose family members, as these already have an established role. Choosing a godparent is an opportunity to bring someone new into the child’s life.
KEY DUTIES
Shameless favouritism
Parents are not allowed to have favourites among their children. That’s what godparents are for. Make your godchild feel more special and important than their siblings. Blatant favouritism is key here. It never bothered me when my sister’s godparents zoned in on her saying ‘where’s our special girl?’, even though I was jealous of her for most everything else. They were her godparents. That was their job.
Quiet witness
It’s possible that a lot of your work as a godparent happens without anyone realising that it’s happening. In living out their faith and being true to their beliefs, godparents provide a quiet witness and show there are many ways to be Catholic.
Remembering birthdays
Or perhaps you might remember their name day or the anniversary of their baptism. The important thing is that you check in at least once or twice a year. This might not seem like much, but without these anchors it can be very easy to lose touch. Use presents to win your godchild’s affection (does that sound wrong?). This is also an opportunity for you to remind the child that you are their godparent and not just a family friend (or some random off the street).
Undefined
Here’s the thing: you don’t know exactly what will happen in your godchild’s life and when you might be needed. When my youngest sister was seriously ill in hospital, aged two, it was her godparents who stepped up and helped with logistics. They took us siblings to the hospital and bought us fast food treats when we got there. In my own uneventful childhood, I never called on my godparents for anything major. But it gave me a quiet confidence to know that I could.
REPORTING RELATIONSHIPS
This one is simple, yet so easy to forget. Report in to God. Pray for your godchild. Say a prayer for their first day of kinder, the operation on their broken wrist, their driver’s test. Pray for guidance and pray for their faith life. Just pray. Pray lots.
DURATION OF CONTRACT
This is debatable. At what point do godparents hang up their hats? Some may believe it is when their godchild reaches adulthood, or perhaps when they’ve received all the sacraments. I am 40 years old and my godparents still make me feel special. I suppose it is up to you.
Being a godparent is a privilege and a joy. Your heart will be softened and your soul enriched. You might think you’re not qualified, but none of us ever are. Don’t worry, God will make good use of you just the same.