I’m not great at mornings. Getting everyone ready all at once and with all of the bits, all of the BITS that they need, it is just so hard.
It’s not like I don’t try. I have so many strategies. I get up extra early and go for a run so that I am alert. I’ve just started making whole loaves’ worth of sandwiches on Sunday to put in the freezer for the week. But somehow, punctuality is an ideal that still eludes me, even now.
I come home just before 8am after my run and sneaky coffee. I am pumped. I am insufferable. Three children have already left for high school and uni. The other three need some coaxing. I sing showtunes loudly as I pull off doonas and open curtains, striding from one bedroom to the next. Harry, Penny and Pippi stumble downstairs, glaring at me.
SUPER ORGANISED?
I am going to be super organised today. It’s sunny for the first time all week. I should put a wash on. I gather up armfuls of floordrobe and carry them to the washing machine. I am on fire.
Three children sit at the kitchen table chewing cereal and staring into the middle distance. I pull sandwiches out of the freezer as I pack the twins’ lunches. Such a great system. We are going to be on time.
But Harry is agitated. Thirteen years old, he looms over me in his school shirt and fidgets. ‘Christopher took my tie. It was on my bedpost but Christopher took it and left before I even woke up. I get detention if I don’t have a tie.’
Pippi’s voice floats down the stairs. ‘Where are my tracksuit pants?’ It takes me a bit of digging around in the bedrooms to discover that apart from the pair that Penny is wearing, all tracksuit pants are in the washing machine that is currently filling with water. The tie, meanwhile, is nowhere. It is nowhere.
‘What if you wear your jacket zipped up to your neck?’ Harry shakes his head glumly. ‘They make us unzip our jackets to check. I’m gonna get a detention.’
ANY NOTE WILL DO
What is this police state of a state school my child is attending? I somehow locate notepaper and a pen and scribble out an explanation. This note will exonerate him, as it turns out, but I don’t know that yet. Next, I convince Pippi to wear a tunic instead of pants (15 minutes) and locate one missing shoe (five minutes), and then we can go.
I’ve forgotten why I went upstairs. I’m sitting on the bed, on my husband’s side. I’m googling the name of the actor who was in Full House but she was also in When Calls the Heart. Was it Lauren something? Or Laura? Ack. Stop googling. How long have you been googling? Focus! What are you even doing?
We were not on time for school today. Harry might have managed to slide in before the bell because I gave him a lift on the way, but the twins and I sauntered in well after the day started. At least we were all fully clothed.
WITH STYLE
I would like to be better at remembering forms and managing laundry and functioning as a grown-up human being. Sometimes I think if my household were a vehicle, I would be driving the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. It’s not efficient. It’s a bit of a mess. But there’s lots of space and we get there in the end. We get there in style. At least, I think we do. I never actually saw that movie.
Maybe I should google it?
Kate Moriarty is a freelance columnist, author and reviewer. Under Kate Solly, her novel Tuesday Evenings with the Copeton Craft Resistance is available now.