The other huge existential question, after the conundrum of the meaning of life, is the one we most often lose sleep over – that is, how to be a good person. How to be a person who stands for something, cares for others, makes a difference, no matter how unremarked this is in the vast anonymity of the human story.
I know that as I become older, I tend to ruminate on the big questions and wonder if, indeed, I am a good person. How is this even defined in a world that is increasingly unmoored and where the moral clarity and authority of the past is contested?
BOX-TICKING
I know that I am law-abiding, believing, an active citizen, a solid employee, a mother whose only child gets married next month, the oldest sibling of seven, wife, friend, neighbour. But am I good or am I simply good at ticking certain approved boxes?
We know when we do good and when we err. With erring, we know when this is deliberate or if it has been accidental or impulsive. Being good, thankfully, is the default setting for many of us. This good multiplied is what makes our communities tick – that element of common decency and respect for the rights and dignity of the other people with whom we live.
Golda Meir wrote: ‘Trust yourself. Create the kind of self you will be happy to live with all your life.’
WISE ADVICE
This is wise advice. If we like ourselves and the lives we lead, this is a good start for reaching out. We know with a soul-deep certainty that there is a part of us that must go beyond the self-referential. We live in a world made up of others, in all their colour and complexity, in their joys and sorrows, their tumult and triumph. We live in family circles, in neighbourhoods, in suburban conurbations and busy regional towns.
We can leave the world in better shape for our having been in it. Our intentionality is important as we reflect on why we do what we do. Our influence may be small, but it bears fruit in ways we may never know. 1 Peter 4:8 reminds us, ‘Above all, maintain constant love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins’.
CHILDREN OF GOD
This is the net of love that binds us together as the children of God. We may mess up sometimes, make wrong choices, fail to be what we claim, but our love prevails and lifts us up. We make good on our promises, live with gratitude and carry forgiveness in our hearts, aiming to be more and do more.
The American essayist Brian Doyle wrote a beautiful piece titled ‘How to be good’ in this magazine in 2012 which I had laminated for my Year 10 students; those young people wrangling their way through adolescence and trying to work out their young lives.
He reminded us that the way to be good in daily life is to be half an ounce better than we were the day before, and by that we advance the universe two inches. He wrote, ‘The Church is you. Christ liveth in you. Do not cloak him but let him be about his business which is using the tools the Creator gave you and only you to bring what light you can. You know this. I am only reminding you. Work with all your grace. Reach out.’
As we reach out with tenderness to others in the way Jesus of Nazareth did, we are spreading the light and love of the Good News. We will do this in our way with our own graced gifts. Our time starts now.
Ann Rennie is a Melbourne writer, teacher and former REC. She believes in the Good News and the power of words to change the world.