BETHLEHEM (MEANS ‘HOUSE OF BREAD’)
This ‘house of bread’ may look insignificant, but it’s a little champion. Mentions of it in the Holy Book go back to Genesis, where Rachel died giving birth to her son Benjamin there. She had just enough energy left to call him ‘son of sorrows’, but her surviving widower Jacob instead called him ‘son of the right hand’ – prophetic indeed, when you think about certain other famous types known to have been born in the town – shall we mention shepherd boy and giant-slayer David, later king? Shall we mention a certain Itinerant Preacher who really stirred things up not so long ago?
Things to do: Visit Rachel’s Pillar, the site of her grave set up by her husband Jacob. Visit a sheepfold or two on the green and rocky hills nearby and talk to the shepherds – they’ll appreciate the company and you’ll be surprised what tales they can tell.”
Souvenirs: Slingshots
Tip: Arrive early. Notorious for lack of accommodation – sleeping all night on hay is no picnic.
‘So Rachel died and was buried on the way to Ephrath, that is, Bethlehem, and … a memorial … marks the place of the tomb to this day . . . ’ – Genesis 35: 19-20
NAZARETH
From Bethlehem in the south, we travel ‘up north’ to the Galilee region and the charming village of Nazareth. A quaint place; take your time to poke your head into the local artisans’ shops – a carpenter, a blacksmith, a dry fish merchant – you’ll hear them all say hello to you – that is, if you can understand their weird northern accent. See the mothers and daughters weaving clothes for their family, just like back home, while swapping stories between neighbours. You’ll see them grinding grain for bread, just like home, or trudging morning and evening to the well for water, just like – well, you get the picture. Don’t be surprised if they ask you to contribute to the widow’s fund … there’s a certain famous mother still living there – shall we mention that Itinerant Preacher again? Some people mock this little burgh – on tour, you’ll often hear the saying, ‘Can anything good come out of Nazareth?’ Well, something good can come out of Nazareth – namely you, after spending a day there.
Food: Dry fish. Recommended: Try buying from the franchise, Mary’s of Magdala – nearby Magdala has a big dry fish industry, and apparently hers is the best.
Things to do: Not much. But you could go out of the village and talk to the shepherds – they’ll appreciate the company just as much as the shepherds in Bethlehem, even if you’re well and truly ‘over’ listening to another story about wolves in sheep’s clothing.
Souvenirs: You’ll find lots of nice gifts in the local carpenter’s shop that used to be owned by Joseph, deceased husband of the famous mother of a certain Itinerant Preacher … need we say more?
‘Isn’t this the carpenter’s son? Isn’t his mother called Mary?’ – Matthew 13: 55
CANA
A beautiful town – a haven for wedding-planners. Known for its wedding receptions and wine. It’s about a day’s walk from Nazareth, but after you drink all that wine, we can’t predict the length of the trip back.
Tip: Try to hold off for the last of the wine – it’s said that in Cana, they save the best till last.
Food: Water. But hang around . . . you might get lucky.
‘His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever He tells you”.’ – John 2:5
THE RIVER JORDAN
Been walking too long and feeling the desert ‘dry’? Sand in your hair and rubbing between your toes? You may like to take a refreshing dip in the waters of the River Jordan. Well, don’t – you may be mistaken for somebody trying to get themselves baptised. This was where John the Baptist, cousin of a certain Itinerant Preacher, preached his own form of repentance and washed his followers in the waters.
Food: Honey and wild locusts – as only the Baptist himself recommends.
Souvenirs: Camel’s hair coats, leather belts, nothing else – the latest style in John-the-Baptist grunge-wear.
Tip: If you find a lost sheep taking a sip from the river, take it back to – yes – his shepherd. He’ll have been out looking for that lost sheep all day and night, and I promise you, he’ll rejoice when it’s found, and appreciate your company.
‘John said . . . “The one who is coming after me is more powerful than I . . .”’ – Matthew 3:11
BETHSAIDA
Bethsaida, just north of the Sea of Galilee, is a beautiful little town full of Hellenists and catfish. The catfish are caught on the local lake, but there’s always an oversupply, because they aren’t kosher, and the Jews who live in Bethsaida, who catch them, can’t eat them. They may even pressure you to buy a stack of them. Bethsaida is a busy fishing town, so if you like talking to locals, be prepared to talk boats, nets, lines and sinkers. Believe me, after Bethsaida, you’ll want to talk to a shepherd, and you’ll appreciate his company. Home town, it is said, of Simon, or Peter, or Simon Peter (or just plain ‘Rocky’) – a follower of a certain Itinerant Preacher who went south, took his accent with him, and stirred things up.
Food: Yep, catfish
Tip: Have your handy Greek and Aramaic language dictionaries with you – you’ll need both in Bethsaida.
CAPERNAUM
Another little fishing village, although a bit more commercial than Bethsaida, also close to the Sea of Galilee. More catfish, fewer Hellenists. It is said that the Jewish men of Bethsaida go to Capernaum to find their wives. It may be true – why not ask the mother-in-law of Peter, or Simon, or Simon Peter (or just plain ‘Rocky’) – she lives there. A certain Itinerant Preacher made a special point of curing Rocky’s mother-in-law in Capernaum … but Rocky still agreed to follow him. A recent downturn in the fishing industry may be explained by the fact that the Itinerant Preacher came along the shoreline and invited several of the best in the local trade to ‘Come, follow me and I will make you fishers of people.’ And they went, thinking, ‘Anything but more catfish’.
Tip: If the restaurant offers it, try the lamb.
‘Come, follow me and I will teach you how to fish for people!’ – Matthew 4:19
THE SEA OF GALILEE
Actually, it’s just a lake, but the local tourist trade likes to talk things up. A beautiful place known for sudden storms that begin and end with miraculous speed. Across the Sea of Galilee, in the distance you’ll see Hippos, a city on a hill which cannot be hidden, one of the Decapolis cities (10 in all). Fishing success is not assured – one moment nothing, next the nets will rip from the haul.
Tip: Locals say the lake is so smooth you could walk on it – an activity only for the very, very faithful.
‘They . . . said . . . “Who is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?”‘ – Mark 4:41
THE HILLS AROUND THE SEA OF GALILEE
Consider taking a long stroll around the hills of the Galilee region. It’s said that a certain Itinerant Preacher preached a wondrous and lengthy sermon on these hills and introduced the Beatitudes here. He was transfigured on one of the higher peaks in the vicinity. You’ll see lots of sheep, though they may be untended, with diligent shepherds off searching for one lost sheep . . . which is all to the good if you don’t wish to talk to another single shepherd.
Food: The hills are known for having no food outlets – best to pack a picnic lunch. (Larger tourist groups: five loaves and two fish are recommended.)
Tip: If a shepherd is off searching for a lost sheep, spend a bit of time with the flock he left behind. They’ll appreciate your company.
‘Blessed are the meek . . . the merciful . . . the peacemakers . . . the pure of heart . . .’ – Matthew 5: 5-9
CAESAREA PHILIPPI
Even further ‘up north’ is this pagan city that worships Roman gods. It is notable for having a high rock wall, and niches in it with statues of Pan and other pagan deities. The rock wall is something to see, but there’s a tale that goes with it. That Itinerant Preacher who stirred things up is said to have compared the wall to none other than ‘Rocky’ himself, that is, Simon, or Peter, or Simon Peter – and he said he would build a church on top of Rocky. This seems a nice compliment – but when you think about it, it might have been a polite threat. (Rocky could be frustrating.) Soon after, the Itinerant Preacher, whom Rocky called The Messiah, told the same Rocky to “Get behind me, Satan!”, so the jury is out. Ask the locals – they saw, they heard.
Food: Rock cakes. (Yes, I know, sorry.)
Souvenirs: Rocks. And the Keys to the Kingdom of Heaven.
‘You are Peter and upon this rock I will build my church!’ – Matthew 16:18
BETHANY
We travel a long way south again, past Jericho to Bethany, near Jerusalem. The locals really enjoy providing hospitality – one house has a real reputation for it: Martha’s place. It’s really Martha and Mary’s place, but Martha does all the work. You’ll be fed, and you may even get oil on your head. The Itinerant Preacher, whom people were calling The Messiah, is known to have stayed at Martha and Mary’s – they were good friends and as an extra bonus, he brought their brother Lazarus back from the dead (although Lazarus was no more active around the house than he had been before).
Food: The Martha Special – though don’t get her cross or she might just serve it on your head instead of the oil.
Tip: While passing Jericho, avoid sudden loud noises. Fragile walls.
‘Some went to the Pharisees and told them what Jesus had done . . . So from that day on, they planned to put him to death’ – John 11: 46, 53
JERUSALEM – THE BIG ONE!
You’ve been up and down the countryside like an itinerant preacher, and now you’ve arrived at the heart of the nation. Where to begin? You’re tired and hot. If you enter the city walls through the Sheep Gate you may like to call in at the Pool of Bethesda, which you’ll recognise from its five beautiful porticoes. If you’re planning to take a dip – don’t. It’s for sick people who need to get in first when the healing water stirs.
Jerusalem is never more exciting than at Passover – you’ll see the tens of thousands of pilgrims taking their lamb or kid (goat) up for sacrifice at the Temple – one for each family. It’s an exhilarating sight, but if you make it into the forecourt, you’ll be amazed to see animals there too – sacrificial animals must be unblemished, and they’re checked by priests on the way up, so rather than return home disappointed if a lamb or kid doesn’t shape up, pilgrims can buy a replacement courtesy of the Temple – for a price.
If you happen to be Jewish and want to contribute to the Temple tax, in the forecourt you’ll need to exchange your local coins for Tyrian shekels, the only coinage accepted by the Temple treasury (more silver content, you see). Make sure your money changer doesn’t diddle you on the exchange rate but avoid making a fuss if he does – not so long ago, a certain Itinerant Preacher called them out on that little scam. It didn’t go well for him.
We’re reliably informed the interior of the Temple is a wonder to behold, and there’s an enormous curtain which seals off the Holy of Holies. Not that you’ll see it – high priests only, I’m afraid.
Tip: If the smell of sacrificial lamb isn’t your thing, avoid Jerusalem at Passover.
Food: Lamb. Or kid.
‘Then Jesus…breathed his last. At that moment, the curtain of the Temple was torn in two, from top to bottom.’ – Matthew 27: 51
STILL IN JERUSALEM, if you can handle it, pay a visit to the Garden of Gethsemane at the foot of the Mount of Olives. Crowded at festival times, with lots of pilgrims camping out. The Itinerant Preacher, who stirred things up not so long ago, was apprehended there, and the arresting officers needed a traitor among his own followers to identify him among so many people. Quite a famous site.
Souvenirs: Olives.
Food: Whaddya think?
AND BEFORE YOU LEAVE JERUSALEM . . .
If you’re especially interested in the Itinerant Preacher, and you have a particularly strong stomach, you may like to visit Golgotha, the ‘Place of the Skull’ where they crucified him (your guide won’t guarantee joining you there). His tomb is nearby, which was kindly donated by one Joseph of Arimathea, and, amazingly, he got it back to use again. Apparently not even a tomb could stop that Preacher from being Itinerant.
‘Yep, I remember him. As a preacher, He was more like a shepherd, but one you’d actually want to hear from. He knew his flock. And he’d chase up lost sheep, like Rocky was. He was like a fisherman, too; by the time they hauled him off, he’d gathered a whole haul of people to himself, and he appreciated their company. Unfortunately, at the end, he’d become a Lamb, and you know what they do to lambs in Jerusalem.’ – Anonymous local, not so long ago.
EMMAUS
Finally, Emmaus. About a day’s walk from Jerusalem, if you’re feeling downhearted and walk slowly – but you’ll be surprised who you can meet there.
Food: The Bread of Life.
‘He took bread, blessed it and broke it . . . and they recognised Him.’ – Matthew 24: 30 - 31